The LGBTQ+ community has seen its fair share of heated debates lately, from Pride Month controversies to queer celebrity dramas. Now, a viral TikTok has sparked fresh conversation after one user complained about a queer event that turned out to be a lesbian-centered party.
While some felt disappointed, others pointed out why these frustrations miss the point. For many, discovering that an event is filled with queer women should be cause for celebration, not complaint. And one gay man, fashion designer Zayer C (@houseofzayer), delivered the perfect reminder.
@houseofzayer it’s so disappointed seeing people in my community, wanting to be accepted by everyone in the world yet they are the first ones to talk bad about lesbian women, I’ve had enough and that needs to stop! #l#lesbianQ#Queensg#girlpowerf#forthegirls ♬ original sound – Houseofzayer
“Not Everything is Going to Be for You”
In his viral response, Zayer highlights an overlooked truth about queer nightlife.
“There are only 32 lesbian bars in the United States, darling. Let me hold your hand when I tell you this: not everything is going to be for you.”
His statement shines light on a bigger issue: the shrinking number of lesbian bars nationwide. In the 1980s, there were over 100 lesbian bars across the U.S. Today, that number has dropped to fewer than 35. This decline is exactly why the Lesbian Bar Project was created to preserve spaces where sapphics can thrive.
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Why Lesbian Spaces Are Essential
Zayer also called out the underlying misogyny in complaints about lesbian-centered events.
“America has made us feel that being gay is…the top of the LGBTQ community. But you need to take a step back and realize not everything is for the gays, okay?”
Lesbian bars and sapphic events are more than just parties, they’re vital sanctuaries where queer women can connect, celebrate, and prioritize their own identities.
Many commenters agreed:
- “We can’t have a space of our own without someone shaming us for not bringing men into it.”
- “Even queer history panels erase lesbians. Lesbian voices matter too.”
This isn’t exclusion it’s community preservation.
Respect Is the Price of Entry
At the end of the day, lesbian parties aren’t about keeping people out; they’re about making sure sapphics have a safe and affirming place to gather.
One commenter put it:
“When I attend queer parties, I expect to see the gworls, the dolls, the gays, and the theys. Everyone’s welcome if they show respect.”
Zayer summed it up best:
“It’s coming off as misogynistic. You need to understand there are places for the girls. Not everything is for the gays. And I am gay as f*ck, okay.”
In a political climate where LGBTQ+ rights are under attack, unity is more important than ever. We need more spaces, lesbian, trans, Black queer, disability-friendly, not fewer. And when one group carves out a corner for themselves, the rest of us should uplift them.
Bottom line: Be like Zayer respects sapphic spaces. Stand with our lesbian sisters.