The controversy around Betty Who’s recent interview isn’t dying down anytime soon. Last week, the Aussie pop star came under fire for her comments about Renee Rapp on the Made It Out podcast. Viewers accused her of downplaying Rapp’s lesbian identity when she said it shouldn’t be “illegal” if Rapp were to fall in love with a man.
While Who’s words weren’t hateful, many found them tone-deaf. Fans criticized the language she used and the implied erasure of Rapp’s identity. Now, just a week later, the debate has shifted, but it’s not Betty Who herself at the center of the storm this time. It’s her husband.
The Husband Question
During the interview, host Mal Glowenke asked Who if her husband identifies as queer. Her answer raised eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t call him queer,” she explained. “But I maintain that I’ve made him more queer through our life together… he knows 100% more gay men now than he did before.”
She then added that her husband, a photographer, has been “inspired by queer culture,” especially male queer culture. According to Who, he even has plans to visit Fire Island to photograph it.
@horacegold Like WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?????
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Why Fire Island Became a Flashpoint
Fire Island is more than just a party spot. It’s a historic gay haven, celebrated for its role in LGBTQ+ culture. So when Who said her straight husband wants to capture “the primal nature of gay men” through photography, it sparked immediate concern.
Commentator Horace Gold broke it down in a viral video. “She literally said her straight husband is planning to go to Fire Island to take photos of all the gays in their natural habitat. I’m sorry, what?”
The problem, Gold explained, isn’t just privacy. It’s the assumption that a straight man has an automatic right to enter deeply queer spaces and document them.
@alex.butch.thembo I missed that part initially and wow that’s… that’s worse. Much worse. YUCK!
The Issue of Queer Gatekeeping
Gold argued that queer spaces aren’t tourist attractions. They serve as safe and sacred environments for the community. “If I were in a jockstrap making out with someone’s son,” he said, “the last thing I’d want is a straight man with a camera documenting it.”
Other fans agreed. One commenter compared it to a “nature documentary,” while another flagged Who’s use of the word “primal” as especially unsettling.
The debate highlights the necessity of a certain level of gatekeeping in queer spaces. Allies are welcome but only when they respect the culture, history, and boundaries of the community.
Why It Matters
Whose husband might be well-intentioned, but his presence at Fire Island could create tension. Beyond privacy, there’s also the risk of misunderstanding or even gay panic if boundaries aren’t respected.
“He’s not going to understand the dualities of that experience that is so sacred to gay men,” Gold said. Photos taken by outsiders risk flattening a complex culture into something voyeuristic.
At its core, the backlash isn’t about banning allies. It’s about making sure queer spaces remain safe and respected. As Gold put it: “Sometimes gatekeeping is necessary.”
The Bigger Picture
Betty Who’s comments were meant to come from a place of love. But framing her husband as “more queer” because of their relationship, or normalizing the idea that straight men can casually enter queer spaces, risks creating more harm than good.
For now, the discourse shows no signs of slowing down. From lesbians to gay men and everyone in between, the LGBTQ+ community isn’t letting this one slide anytime soon.
